Hue Jackson’s Greatest Hits

Belly Laughs With Andy Reid takes a weekly look at the weird and wonderful brains of NFL coaches, because whether they’re burying game balls or taking their timeouts home to make sweet love to them, they’re doing something fucking stupid.

Belly Laughs With Andy Reid: Week Eight

There’s only one coach worth talking about this week, and it’s a man who doesn’t even work in the NFL any more.

Hue Jackson was finally fired this week, having posted the worst record of any coach with at least 40 games, apart from one dude who owned the team he coached. So yeah, Hue gave us plenty of golden moments over these last few years. Let’s savour the top three.

Three: Forgetting the events of a game that had just ended

Just this Sunday past, Hue was asked why he didn’t use his timeouts at the end of the first half. His response? “Honestly, I don’t even recall that.”

Yikes.

Was he out drinking with Brett Kavanaugh the night before or something?

Two: Not knowing he’d just won a game

The guy won so rarely I guess it’s understandable he was a bit confused. In this case, Hue didn’t know what to do with his hands, kind of like your first time taking a bra off.

Against the Ravens a few weeks ago, the Browns kicked a late overtime field goal to secure a 12-9 (yuck) victory, as at that point the game ended with a score. This was news to Hue of course, who stuck two fingers in the air, referring to the two seconds left on the clock.

Very on brand to win and still come out of it a laughing stock, so credit to Hue for that. Kind of like successfully undoing a bra strap, only to have the other snap and take out your eye and boner.

One: Somehow bragging about one win in two years

After an 0-16 2017 season (following a 1-15 year), Hue came out with this gem:

“I don’t think anyone else could’ve done this job for the past two years.”

The mind-boggling amount of unearned confidence and lack of self-awareness packed into this quote is hard to fathom. Hue is the essence of every snooty Starbucks ‘barista’, Instagram model, personal trainer and small-town DJ distilled and poured directly into another human’s soul.

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