Mike Vrabel: The Taylor Swift Of The NFL

Belly Laughs With Andy Reid takes a weekly look at the weird and wonderful brains of NFL coaches, because whether they’re burying game balls or taking their timeouts home to make sweet love to them, they’re doing something fucking stupid.

Belly Laughs With Andy Reid: Week 10

I’ve been learning to let go of grudges and anger recently, which is a good thing for all of us sane human beings. Life goes on and eventually, you forget that bitter, salty, nasty taste a friend, family member or poundshop Elon Musk left in your mouth.

NFL coaches though, aren’t exactly sane human beings.

They work something close to 168 hours a week, speak only in cliches, only eat meat or things from a packet and say phrases like “backfield penetration”, “eight men in the box” and “we should start Nathan Peterman again” with a straight face.

So it’s no surprise Mike Vrabel is STILL salty about his time under Bill Belichick.

But hang on you say, the Titans coach played in New England under Belichick for eight seasons,  won three Super Bowls and made a boatload of money, what’s he got to be pissed about?

Well, almost 10 years ago Belichick traded him to the Kansas City Chiefs for some old burger buns and  some kicking tees. Vrabel says he didn’t speak to Belichick for a year, which would be long enough for that wound to heal for most of us, but nota salty coach like Vrabes.

In the Titans’ demolition of the Patriots this Sunday past, the Pats tried a trick play pass to QB Tom Brady, which worked about as well as throwing to a drunken Bambi would. When the Titans next had the ball (and the game well in hand) Vrabel called the same play, to much greater success, just to flex on his old boss. And he let him know about it after.

Ooooooooooooh, slay Qween!

It’s almost been a decade and Vrabel still isn’t over the breakup, kind of like a country music star who’s more than a bit popular in Nashville, where the Titans call home.

She’s also probably a big part of Vrabel’s pre-game playlist:

Fifteen – This track reminds Vrabel of when he was young and naive and Belichick groomed him. It’s the high before the low, before he had to imagine a life without listening to Bill’s sarcastic put downs and the screams of the players he would disembowel daily in the film room.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together – Self explanatory, this was how he felt for that one season in Kansas City, picturing Bill’s smirk on ever other player he hit.

Bad Blood – This one gets pumped as he strides onto the field, a man on a mission, ready to drop the hammer on that fucker he could never please. “Why don’t you love me dad?” he wails as the song comes to an end.

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